Sasuke Came Back A Changed Man
by LeaderOfTheRevolution
Summary: Just a little fic regarding Naruto and Sasuke. T for language. Mentions alternate realities, but please read anyway.


She smiles at me.

"Hello," she says pleasantly.

But the smile isn't real.

She's still scared of me. Of talking to me. I've hurt her too much. I watch her as she walks away. She kept her pink hair short. I want to tell her it looked better long, but I'm not sure how a comment like that will go over.

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O

He still wears his mask. He still reads his perverted books. But he doesn't laugh. Or smile.

Not anymore.

And every time he looks at me, I get the feeling he's disappointed in me.

I came back, didn't I? Doesn't it matter that I came back?

I'm not his student anymore. Sometimes I'm not even sure why he talks to me. I can tell how much it pains him.

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O

They give me dirty looks as I walk past. They look exactly the same as before—one blonde, one spiky-haired, one fat. They back up a few steps as I go by, as if I've brought the plague.

I can hear them whispering.

Even she, who had once worshiped me so completely, takes part in it actively.

Everything has changed for me.

O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O

He won't talk to me at all.

He's the one who really matters. And now he won't speak to me.

She told me he hadn't been the same since I left. She said he changed even more when I joined Akatsuki. She said that he'd taken his sensei's—the perverted Sannin— death very hard.

He won't talk to me.

Stupid, idiotic dobe won't talk to me.

All I want is a simple hello, a "Sasuke-teme" or "bastard" or _something_.

But as I stare, I know I'm not going to get anything.

He won't listen to me either.

He's so stupid.

Dobe died before I could tell him I was sorry.

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

There is a knock at my door, but I ignore it. I know it's going to be Sakura even without looking.

How are you, she'll ask. Are you alright?

I come to realize that may be the stupidest question anyone has ever asked me.

No, I'm not alright. No, I'm not fine. Yes, I've taken the death hard. Yes, I plan on wallowing in my room forever. Or at least for the immediately foreseeable future.

"Hello?" she calls from outside my small apartment. I lay my head on the arm of the couch and close my eyes. "Hey," she calls again, softer. "Can you come to the door?"

When I don't answer, she tries again.

"Do you want me to come in? Are you alright?"

There's that stupid question. Before I notice what I'm doing, I open my mouth and say, point-blank, "Go away, Sakura."

I can practically hear her freeze. With quiet, creeping footsteps, she backs away from my door. The steps become fainter as she recedes down the hall, and then they are nonexistent. She has gone.

I let out a sigh. I shouldn't have snapped at her. I throw my arm over my eyes and clench my fist.

If I hadn't unplugged it, there is no doubt in my mind that my phone would be ringing right now. Hinata's been worried about me. So has Kakashi, and Tsunade, and Kiba, and Shikamaru…Don't these people have lives of their own to worry about? Why am I the first thing that pops into their minds?

Sure, it's been half a year. So what? I didn't complain when Sakura moped around for the first two months. And now that the reality of everything has finally sunk in, I'm not allowed to grieve for two days? What the hell is _wrong_ with everyone?

No, I'm not allowed to be sad. I'm not allowed to be depressed for a period of time while I deal with the fact that my best friend is dead. The best friend that I couldn't, for all my efforts, save.

Why is everyone else allowed to mourn for Sasuke except me?

I'll tell you why—because I am Naruto, and everyone expects me to cheer them up. I'm Naruto; I'm supposed to be happy.

How disappointed they must be.

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

It would have been easier if I had just stayed away. Perhaps if I'd known of Naruto's death earlier, I wouldn't have come back. It would have saved everyone all this. More importantly, then I would not have had to deal with the looks Sakura gives me when she thinks I'm not looking.

She looks at me like I've blown up her world.

But I didn't kill Naruto. It wasn't me. I would never have. No matter what I ever said, I could never have brought myself to kill him. He was the most important thing to me. And now he's gone.

But Sakura doesn't think I understand her pain. She tries to be nice, tries to be civil. It always ends in yelling.

"You don't understand" has become her favorite line to use.

Why are you always so sad? "You don't understand!"

How can you be this mad at me? "You don't understand!"

And, my personal favorite: Why does Naruto mean so much to you now? He never did before. "You just don't _understand_!"

It's that last one that makes her start to cry. It's then that I walk away. Because she doesn't realize that I _do_ understand. It's weird what losing someone makes you think about.

I've spent a lot of my time in front of his grave. Sometimes Kakashi stands with me. Somehow I always end up leaving before him. And when I go back the next day, he's already there. If I didn't know better, I would assume he never leaves that spot.

Hinata's taken it worse than Sakura, if that's possible. I've heard she hasn't spoken in the year since Naruto's death. Kiba tries to coax some words out of her, but he never succeeds. She just gives him a sad look, as if attempting to say "Thanks for trying".

I wonder how he had changed since I last saw him when we were fifteen. It's been almost three and a half years now, but…maybe he was exactly the same. I like to think so.

I also like to think that, someday, I'll be okay.

I am, after all, the great Sasuke Uchiha. Hard as steel, cold as ice. This shouldn't affect me as much as it does. But I have so many regrets. And there's one thing that will ensure I will never, ever, be okay again.

It's the knowledge that he never achieved his dream.

Naruto never became Hokage.

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

It's been three and a half years since I last saw Sasuke alive.

Now I wonder if there was something I could have done differently. Something I could have said in a different tone, something I could have done in a different way. Maybe something would have changed his mind. But it's too late now. He's gone now, and I have to deal with it. I _want _to get over it, I _do_.

But…

The Uchiha Clan is gone now. There's no one left. Itachi, Sasuke, Madara…All are dead.

And I don't think I'll ever get over that I couldn't save him.

My best wasn't enough. My effort wasn't enough. He died anyway. I wonder if he'd changed at all. If maybe he was considering coming back. If he had lived, would he have come back to the village? Somehow, I doubt it. But I like to think that, given the chance, he'd come back to us.

I regret everyday that I wasn't out there looking for him. I should have been there.

But I wasn't.

It's not adequate to say I miss him. The hurt is too big for words.

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

Sakura gave me something today. It was after one of our "You don't understand" fights. One of many. There was nothing different about this one. Except for one small thing.

When Sakura said, "You don't understand!" for the first time, instead of my constant stream of hurtful questions, my response was to turn and punch the wall angrily, causing a hole.

Still facing the wall, my fist scraped up by the plaster, I said, "Like hell I don't understand, Sakura! I think I understand better than anyone! In fact, if anyone has a right to say 'You don't understand', it should be _me_! I was Naruto's best friend! _His fucking best friend!_"

I took a deep breath. "Now will you stop sobbing and blubbering like a four-year-old? You are eighteen. For God's sake, act like it! Stop taking everything out on me because I was a few months late in coming back! I didn't know he was going to die. Goddamnit, I didn't _know_!"

Her hand touched my shoulder softly. "I'm sorry," she whispered. When I didn't turn, she wrapped her arms around my waist in a gentle hug. "I should have figured this would be tough for you, too."

I focused on breathing. In, out, in, out, Naruto, in, out, Naruto, Naruto, out, in, Naruto…

_God DAMN it!!_

Then she pulled back and as I breathed, she slowly crept out the front door of my apartment. After a few moments, I deemed it safe to turn. There, on the floor, was a small orange book. Curious, I picked it up. It was locked. A spell tag was fastened to it. It was an old tag, maybe four years old. The chakra still lingered on the tag. It was obvious only one person had opened this notebook, which led to the assumption that, whatever it was, Sakura had not read it. Slowly, I removed the tag and opened to the first page. I inhaled sharply when I saw the name carelessly scrawled on the inside page.

Naruto Uzumaki.

Damn. So much for forgetting.

As I read through the pages, I recognized it as a journal. It started the day he left the village with that Sannin, Jiraiya. One entry in particular, one of his last actually, caught my eye.

**Hey!**

**Kakashi-sensei prattled off on something today that I didn't really understand. Something about alternate dimensions. I think it was something about—hold on I'll ask Sakura-chan.**

**She said that Kakashi-sensei was talking about how there are multiple dimensions. In one dimension, things could happen differently than in another. Like, in another dimension, Sasuke could still be with the village.**

**"Can we go to other dimensions?" I asked.**

**"No," said sensei. "But it is said that if an immense amount of chakra is concentrated at a certain time, a certain way, it can possibly open a portal so that we may see into other dimensions."**

**One of these days, I'm going to try that. I am going to be the first to see into a different dimension. Believe it!**

Below those words was a red Uzumaki symbol. I almost felt like laughing. Naïve dobe. He would've believed he could have tunneled to the Earth's core and come back bearing gifts from a souvenir shop.

But this had got me thinking. Could a portal to another dimension really be opened? Could I really see the dobe again? Could I get to apologize?

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

I sat at my desk and stared at my journal. The small orange book had been collecting dust on my bookshelf for the past six months. I hadn't written since Sasuke's death.

Now, I pick up a pen and I slowly write three words.

**Sasuke has died.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

As I read the last page of his journal, something strange happened. The blank page next to it mysteriously had three words, in the dobe's handwriting, that hadn't been there before.

It said, Sasuke has died.

I stared at it uncomprehendingly. What? That doesn't make any sense! I watched in mute fascination as more words appeared.

What the hell was going on?

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Sasuke has died.  
**

**I'm not sure what to do now.**

**I thought I could save him, but evidently I wasn't enough. Sakura took it hard at first. And now everyone is looking to me to cheer them up. I haven't been able to grieve. They won't let me.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

I ran to my desk and grabbed a pen. If words were appearing, maybe it was that other-dimension thing! Maybe, just maybe, I could write back!

**Naruto! Are you there?**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

I blinked. That was Sasuke's handwriting. Words in Sasuke's handwriting had just all of a sudden appeared on the page.

Dear God I was going crazy.

Only one way to find out.

**Yeah, **I wrote. **I'm here.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

_Oh thank God. Oh dear God thank you._

**Naruto. Dobe. I'm sorry.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**You're also dead.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**No, no I'm not. Well, technically, the Sasuke in your dimension is dead…**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**What the hell? You are making no sense, teme.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

_He called me teme. Oh, God, I love you._

**I know this is confusing. Just pretend to know what I mean when I say that, right now in my world, you're dead and I'm alive.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**I died? What the hell, teme? Since when? Last time I checked, I was alive.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Oh forget it. Just…I'm sorry.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Who are you and what have you done with Sasuke-teme?**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Dobe.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Wow. Bastard, really is you.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Hn.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**…Hey Sasuke?**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**Hn?**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

**It's alright, you know. I forgive you.**

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

That was the last I heard from the dobe. After that, whatever had caused our little communication link had disappeared. I was forgiven. That's all that matters.

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

I am such an idiot. Now I know why Sasuke-teme always called me "dobe". I really am a loser.

I forgot to tell the bastard that I missed him.

**O.O.O.O.O.O**

_"That didn't happen!" cries little Fukumi._

_The Seventh Hokage laughs. "Maybe not like that. But something along those lines did take place between the two friends."_

_"Really?" whispers Riku._

_"Of course!" Lord Hokage, known around the world as the great medical kunoichi, Lady Sakura, traces the names of her closest friends. They are carved in the memorial stone, where they deserved to be. "They were the best of friends."_

_"I-It was a s-sad ending," sobs Chima, wiping her tears with her sleeve. "The way t-they s-said goodb-bye."_

_"Yes, I suppose it was." Lady Sakura grins at the children. "They were good men. They wouldn't be honored so completely if it was a happy ending. Their end was appropriate."_

_"If you say so," mutters the oldest in the bunch, twelve year old Miyami. She looks a lot like her father. The blue eyes and blonde hair are identical. "I say it would have been better if they had lived."_

_"Life doesn't end the way we want it to," said the Hokage. "But what matters is how we deal with what life hands us. Like Naruto and Sasuke, we must come to terms with our disasters and deal with them accordingly. Even if that means saying goodbye."_

In Loving Memory of Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. Two Best Friends.


End file.
